This is What Dreams are Made of
by BlackFeatherz29
Summary: AU Meer Campbell is a new student at Orb Academy, where she is shadowed by her sister Lacus. Can she ever find herself when she has a famous sister, and when tensions are running high because of war? MeerAth, LacKira, CagYzak, ShinStel, LunaRey,MeyAue
1. Prologue

**This is What Dreams Are Made of**

By BlackFeatherz29

Prologue

Okay, so this is my first Gundam Seed Destiny story and my first attempt (ahem) at the classic AU high school plot. Some of you may be saying, "What is this crazy person thinking, putting Meer as the main character and Athrun as her pairing? She's a b-!" For your information, she was not, and never meant to be one. And she's dead, for god's sake, and didn't anyone ever teach you to respect the dead? To me, Meer Campbell is the girl that is to be pitied the most (next to Stellar Loussier, who is going to be another main character in this story) in the GSD series. And she only tried to get closer to Athrun because she thought this was how the real Lacus always behaved. And I am changing many, many aspects of most of the characters' personalities here, so no complaining.

Disclaimer: Mobile Suit Gundam Seed Destiny does not belong to me. It belongs to whoever owns it, which I'm too lazy to look up. The only things that belong to me are this storyline, the modifications I've made to the personalities of already exist characters, and Sally Rizel.

* * *

For the most part, Sally Rizel was what you'd call a normal seven-year-old Coordinator girl. She liked small cute animals, dolls, pink princesses, and Lacus Clyne. Of course, the star herself was the pinkest of the pink princesses (hence the nickname, Pink Princess), even carrying around the cutest pink machine, Haro. 

Lacus Clyne was a rising teen pop star on the PLANTs, the daughter of the Councilman Clyne and active in welfare and politics as well as fashion shoots and music videos. Where most pop stars sang about inappropriate subjects, got quickly swallowed up by the enormous batch of new hopefuls that streamed in each year and degraded by disgusting rumors about all-night drunk binges and anorexia, Lacus Clyne did not. She was naturally petite and stunning in warm gray-blue eyes and bubblegum pink hair, and it wasn't her fault that the rumor mills in the press didn't have anything bad to tell about her.

That is where she draws her biggest crowds: small and pre-teen girls and their parents. At her concerts, it's a bit strange to think that parents would be streaming in as well as their children. Lacus's music was inspiring and showcased world peace. She was beautiful. She had a fairy-tale-prince fiancé, Athrun Zala. The kids loved her. The parents loved her. And that was how on this lovely Sunday morning, Sally Rizel found herself running through the streets of suburban ORB, a half-eaten ice-cream cone clutched unnoticed in her hand.

Any little girl would recognize that vivid pink hair anywhere. And because of pure chance, this little girl had seen that head of hair in the crowd and run off in hot pursuit. Anyone who's imagined meeting your idol would know this feeling, this electric excitement. So it's no wonder that when Sally did manage to catch up to Lacus-sama entering a grocery store, she was so preoccupied that she didn't notice that it wasn't Lacus.

The bright pink hair was there, but a few shades darker. The warm gray-blue eyes were there, but were brilliant blue instead. And this Lacus wore a black T-shirt with jeans and high-tops instead of the fairy-talke dresses that she normally wore. None of this mattered to the excited girl except the fact that this girl looked so much like Lacus-sama that she couldn't be anyone else.

So unknowing, she asked her for her autograph, and it wasn't until 'Lacus' kneeled down to her level and actually told her that she wasn't Lacus that Sally realized her mistake. Whereas the girl quickly blushed as bright as the other girl's hair and had been ready to bolt into an alley to hide herself in her humiliation, but the Lacus-look-alike stopped her.

"You could get lost in these crowds and end up somewhere you don't want to be," was what the girl, Meer Campbell said as she led Sally by the hand back to her worried mother. There, she was mistaken for Lacus Clyne yet again by Mrs. Rizel, who upon realizing her mistake quite a bit faster than her daughter had, apologized profusely, but Meer just waved the apology away. "It happens all the time," she told them before walking back to the store to buy her groceries.

* * *

So… how was it? It was short, but hey, it's a prologue. This semi-sarcastic narrator person (me) will be almost non-existent in the fic itself, which will be told alternatively between Meer and the other characters in the story. And yes, Meer will be in high school in the next chapter and she will meet the gang really soon. I will try very hard to keep the ideas present in this fic original, but I don't guarantee it. Many experiences are taken from my own life because I just started at a new high school. See you next chapter, which will be up shortly. 


	2. Meer

**This is What Dreams are Made of**

By BlackFeatherz29

Chapter 1: Meer

This is the first chapter, entirely in Meer's POV. Each chapter will be in a different person's POV, so the next chappie will most likely be in Lacus's. I changed many, many aspects of her character from the original GSDestiny, since if Chairman Dullindal hadn't tried to make her a Lacus clone, there would be no Meer as we know it and we are not aware of what her real personality is. I personally believe that she is nothing but a shy average girl who loves to sing and tries a little too hard to apply what she wants to do. Her personality will be very much twisted from what I originally planned, but she will be the same shy girl inside. Enjoy your read! 

Disclimer: Mobile Suit Gundam Seed Destiny does not belong to me, but to whoever it belongs to :P I own only this storyline and my own perceptions and opinions.

* * *

I was not looking forward to my first day of Orb Academy. Even so, Mom woke me up at 5:30 and forced me to take a shower before school started. She told me that I had to look good for the first day because I had to make a good impression on my classmates. I told her that it didn't matter because my sister had already made her impression on everyone and I didn't need to do anything because everyone would lose interest in me anyway. Aren't parents supposed to reassure their kids and respect their wishes? Because the way my mom acts about these things, it's like she never considers what I want to do. 

"Meer Campbell!" she screeched, looking for the entire world like a harpy about to swoop down and devour me. "Get in the shower or else!" The 'else' part she left up to my imagination, which was easy enough to tap into. However, I've never been able to find out since I always do everything before she turns to the 'or else' option. Perhaps it was the meek and gentle trait passed down through Dad and Lacus. Because none of us could ever say no to Mom. That's partially why Dad and Mom are divorced now: because Mom wanted one and Dad didn't know how to say no to her.

Dragging my heavy self into the shower, I halfheartedly dropped my clothes onto a shelf above the toilet and cranked up the hot water. Mom always says that I look redder than a boiled pig when I come out of the shower because of how hot I always turn it. I just like it that way, but it's not like it matters. Lacus has the same preference, too.

That's right. The Lacus Clyne is my sister. The Pink Princess, the wonderful, beautiful, and gentle Lacus Clyne, the girl with the Haros. And I'm ashamed to admit that I am indeed jealous of her. Even though she is my twin sister and she has no faults, I always feel a twinge every time I come across every mention of her. Why is it that I, the older twin, was left out when I had the same amount of talent and beauty that my younger sister had? Why am I always unable to be as bold as Lacus when I should play the part of the protective older sister? Why was I always unable to step out of her shadow?

Despite the unavoidable fact that Lacus and I looked almost exactly alike, share the same likes of food, of clothing, and nearly the same personalities, I've grown to scoot away from everything that could link me with her. I dressed in jeans and high-tops while she wore beautiful dresses; I lost myself in techno and pop while she sang ballads of love and peace accompanied by an orchestra or piano. Most of all, at the same time she basks in the spotlight, I shy away and retreat into a dark corner where I can stew in peace. It's ironic that my music is always so much brighter than hers is even though her life is brighter than mine. After all, the last time I saw her was two years ago when Mom and I went to visit her and Dad on Orb. But now, we're back on Orb, the whole divorce mess cleared up, and on this very day I was to attend the same school as Lacus.

Dragging my robed self back into my room in front of my mirror, I put on my new school uniform. It was, as I expected, stuffy to my stretch-accustomed self. On the top, there was a white blouse buttoned down the front and a gray blazer on top with the emblem of Orb Academy stitched on the left breast pocket. A black tie and a gray and black plaid skirt finished the look, along with the usual white socks and shoes. It didn't look any different from the uniforms of any other school I had attended, except maybe a little fancier. And to my dismay, none of the materials allowed the slightest bit of stretch for free movement. Tweed and wool were all the rage in school uniforms.

Ignoring my discomfort and the uniform entirely, I concentrated on my face. My bright pink hair hung damply down my back, as always. My skin was still pink from the hot shower. But I concentrated on my eyes, my favorite aspect of my own self. They were bright blue; 'icy', some people called them. They said that I always had a blank expression on my face, and along with my eyes that I looked like an ice queen. I was pleased at their comment. Finally, finally something I possessed was naturally different from my sister. I didn't care that my classmates meant that comment to possess a sting. I was different from Lacus; I really really was.

Just then, Mom poked her head through the doorway of my room. She stood behind me, resting her hands on my shoulders. "I swear that you're always growing up too fast," she told me with a smile. "Look at you, so pretty and mature."

'Mature?' I mentally asked. If only she knew…

"Sure, Mom," I told her. "So, where's breakfast?"

From across the table, Mom told me that I was to wait for Lacus's limousine to come and pick me up to go to school. "It's a good thing that you won't have to walk all the way there like the other kids," she told me with an attempt to cheer me up. I didn't respond, so she continued. "Meer, please make an attempt to socialize this time. It's not the other kids' fault that you look like Lacus and Lacus is famous. I heard from your father that she has some very nice friends this time, like her fiancé Athrun."

I didn't reply, feeling dread bubble up from the pit of my stomach. Mom didn't hesitate to lecture me on the merits of a lasting friendship until Lacus's limo arrived. Once it was there, I grabbed my bookbag and hurried away down the elevator from my Mom's voice. I didn't want to feel any regret this time for not having any friends.

* * *

So, how was it? I know that it's weird reading about Meer when she's acting like a jaded teenager, but please bear with me. The point is this: Meer wants to act tough, but she's actually much shyer than Lacus and has the exact same inside as Lacus, and this will become apparent the more the story goes on. Lacus is next, and so the first day of school starts. Meer and the gang will be 10th graders (this school is structured like an American high school), and Shinn and his gang, who come in later, are to be freshman. Keep a lookout for the second chapter coming up soon. Til then, ja! And remember to review! 


	3. Lacus

**This is What Dreams are Made of**

By BlackFeatherz29

Chapter 2: Lacus

Lacus's POV, then Meer's. I'm sorry that I can't write her very well… I really like Lacus because she is the image of the perfect heroine, and because she is good through and through and strong as well (she can use SEED mode!), though I find that annoying sometimes as well. Kira and Athrun are also introduced in this chapter, also. Other characters will appear later (like Shinn in the next chap and Cagalli in the chap after) This chapter is a bit longer because of the two perspectives, and I hope you like it. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Mobile Suit Gundam Seed/Seed Destiny. I own only my character designs and my plot.

* * *

"Haro, Haro!" The bright pink machine bounced on the leather seat of the limousine with unending energy. I felt my smile warm every part of my body. "You're excited too, Haro? You're going to be able to meet my sister, Meer, today!" 

"Me-er!" I smiled again, in spite of myself. My manager always tells me that I smile too much. 'Save the smile for the fans,' she tells me, but I really can't help myself. It's just part of who I am.

"That's right!" I told Haro.

My driver pulled into the parking lot of my mother's apartment building, where she and Meer are staying. Through the tinted bulletproof glass windows, I could see my sister exiting the front doors and other people crowding along the curb.

"Are you sure you want to come out yourself, Lacus-sama?" my driver asked nervously. "I could do it-"

I chuckled quietly, shaking my head. "I want to do this myself," I told him. "My sister deserves the right to meet me face to face."

As the car slides smoothly to a halt, I push the door open and step out. Meer walks toward me, head bowed and schoolbag carried in front of her knees. I heard people gasping and whispering "It's Lacus Clyne!" but I focus on Meer. As she neared me, I grinned. "Hi, Meer. Long time no see."

She lifted her head, and smiled a small smile. She was as I remembered: taller than me, with darker hair, brighter eyes, and a more delicate image. She seemed frailer than ever, the epitome of a lonely person. Meer's lips twitched for a moment, then she said in the small voice, "Hello, Lacus."

I closed my eyes and wrapped her in a bear hug. I felt her frame stiffen in my arms, as I realized that I was making her uncomfortable. My sister has always been something of a loner, who would always sit by herself and never bothered to talk to the people around her. I guess that she must have hated being compared to me.

I released my hold, then guided her into the limo while I climbed in behind her. I closed the car door with a snap and told my driver to drive to school. He saluted and I shifted a little so I could face my sister and see her a little better.

She was indeed more delicate than I remembered. Her face looked more sharp and angular than mine, and her bright blue eyes were downcast as if saddened by something.

"So," I began, picking up Haro and stroking it, "how have you been, Meer? I've missed you."

Meer didn't change expression. "I've been okay. How about you?"

I was gladdened at her forward question. She was talking more than usual. "Oh, the usual, though you probably don't need to hear about me. What we really need to talk about more is you, Meer. How is Mom? Any problems getting here?"

Throughout the whole of the car ride, it was always I who asked the questions, and she who answered in short concise answers. I began to realize that I was making her uncomfortable also by asking her so many personal questions, but I pressed on, wanting to make her feel accepted. Even though I know that Meer and I have the same base personality, I never did understand why she always insisted on keeping to herself all the time. I keep trying to understand her, but she always pulls away. It's like being around me makes her feel bad. I felt a twinge of sadness at the thought of my own sister not liking me, but I pushed it to the back of my mind.

"You're going to love Orb Academy," I told her as we neared the school building. "The teachers are all nice, and everyone I meet is nice, too. You can stay with me and my friends, if you want to. You have the same schedule as my friends Athrun and Cagalli, and they can help you find your way around the school easier."

"That's good. I'd like to."

Stepping out of the limousine, we walked toward the double doors of Orb Academy side by side. As we went, I felt Meer grow smaller every time someone pointed at us and noticed the resemblance. I felt that same pang of sadness.

"Lacus!" I turned my head, and spotted Athrun and Kira coming up the path toward us. I waved, and smiled my biggest smile. "Hi, guys! How was your summer?"

I felt Meer bend nearly in half, hiding behind me like a child behind her mother. However, this time I refused to let her, telling myself that it was for her own good. I pushed her forward purposefully into full view of my two friends. Both saw the resemblance immediately and were polite enough not to point and stare.

"So this is the twin sister that you told us about, Lacus?" asked Athrun, smiling encouragingly at Meer. I nodded and gestured to Meer. "This is Meer Campbell, guys. Meer, these are two of my best friends Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala."

She straightened enough to bow politely to them, and I was surprised to see a small blush on her face. "Nice to meet you."

Encouraged by Meer's willingness to speak, I sighed in relief that the first introduction had not been too bad and proceed to ask Kira, "Where's Cagalli and Miriallia? They were supposed to meet with us."

Kira scratched the back of his head sheepishly, his violet eyes twinkling in the bright sunlight. "Um, I think I lost them awhile back, when I was talking with Sai and Tolle. Sorry, Lacus…"

I waved his apology off. I could never get mad at Kira, especially for such a trivial matter. "Don't worry! We'll find them eventually."

Catching Meer, who appeared to have started shrinking away again, by the hand, I tugged impatiently. "Come on, Meer!" I cried. "We can go get our locker combinations and go to our first periods together!"

* * *

I was mortified. Throughout that whole nightmarish limo ride, I kept on staring at my leather-clad feet as if there was nothing more interesting in the entire world than studying the careful weave of the threads crisscrossing my knee-high socks. I answered only when I had to and only what I had to, and I felt hot guilt flood through my system every time Lacus asked me another question encouragingly and I answered with only a flat reply. I could never really hate Lacus; she was too kind. All I could do is keep nourishing that green monster of envy that lurked inside my body. 

As we arrived at the school, I lifted my head for the first time to stare at the school that would become half my life. It was enormous, much bigger than the public school I had attended back in the PLANTS. People were everywhere, talking, laughing, and smiling. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to shut out all of the sounds of joy that I had never possessed. 'Make it stop,' I told them mentally. 'Make it stop…"

They didn't. The noise only grew worse as I heard whispers of "look how alike they look!" and "is that Lacus's twin?" wormed my way through my ears. I felt myself hunch inward, desperately wishing that I would disappear altogether. This feeling only increased once more as Lacus recognized two of her friends. I shied away; that is until she forcibly propelled me forward so that their eyes landed straight on me. My own flew open and landed on them.

The first thought was, 'they're boys.' I'd always had a chronic fear of boys, since they were always the most violent of the kids who tormented me, and they didn't know how to keep their hurtful words to themselves. Girls I could tolerate because they talked behind my back and never let me hear them, but boys I could hear loud and clear. The second thought was 'they're gorgeous.' I'd heard of love at first sight, but I never believed it. Now, I was a believer.

One was tan, brown-haired, gentle-looking, and had the most beautiful pair of violet eyes. He looked like a little boy, always smiling and looking half-sheepish. The other one… well, I could barely keep from goggling. He was taller, more elegant with dark blue hair, piercing emerald eyes and pale skin. He looked like one of those fairy-tale princes who only existed in stories. At least, that's what I thought, since I had never ever felt this before.

Both smiled at me, making me feel like I wanted to disappear more than ever. Who were they? What were they? Why were they looking at something like me?

Lacus's voice cut through my violently battling thoughts. "This is Meer Campbell, guys. Meer, these are two of my best friends Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala."

I forced myself to straighten and bow for the sake of politeness, and said in as big a voice I could manage, "Nice to meet you," before I ducked my face away to hide the hotness I felt spreading across my cheeks.

I felt Lacus relax beside me and then she proceeded to ask Kira about something, leaving me to stew in my writhing inwards. Why was I feeling this? Why did it have to strike me, who was the person least likely in the entire world to experience something like this and have it returned? Why, Kami-sama?

The next thing I knew, Lacus was literally dragging me by the hand into the school, telling me that we were going to get locker combinations or something. It didn't matter to my rapidly churning brain. I was doomed.

* * *

Alas, poor Meer, falling in love with her sister's fiancé. There will be no major romantic jealousy and the such, though. Meer's not gonna get in a catfight with her sister or something to get Athrun. Next chapter is in Athrun's POV, with him dealing with some complication issues of his own. Look for it tomorrow! 


	4. Athrun

**This is What Dreams are Made of**

By BlackFeatherz29

Chapter 3: Athrun

This chapter is in Athrun's POV, which I dunno really how to write, but I'll try anyway! No complaining about OOC-ness, since this is a pretty much AU fic, but I'll try to contain as much information from the original Seed/Seed Destiny series as I can without making the gang into war heroes. Meer is different when she goes out in public, just to inform you. She's like a jaded teenager when she talks to people close to her, but when she goes out in public, all her attitude just pretty much evaporates. I know that feeling well…

Disclaimer: I don't own Mobile Suit Gundam Seed/Seed Destiny. I own only my own ideas, plot, chars, etc. This is getting annoying since I don't have any catchy ones to use …

* * *

'The first day of school,' I groaned mentally as Kira and I trudged to the front of the building. The sunlight was heating my back as if it was a solar panel. I tugged at my tie. I hate these uniforms. 

"Did you sleep well last night, Athrun?" he asked me, yawning at the same time he was asking. "I sure didn't."

I winked at him, blinking back my own tiredness. "Not a bit. I was up all night reading building something. How about you?"

Kira shrugged, his eyes looking a little faraway for a moment so that I could guess exactly what was on his mind. I grinned mischievously, then elbowed him gently in the ribs. "You were thinking about Lacus, weren't you?"

He sputtered incoherently for a second, then glanced quickly around to make sure no one else had heard. I laughed at his crimson face as he glared at me. "Don't say that so loud! Aren't you supposed to be the one who's worried, since you're engaged to her?"

I shrugged, still grinning. "Nah. Why should I be? It's not as if this engagement was totally forced. After all, Father only arranged it at a convenient time, and it's not set in stone."

A sleek limousine pulled into the curb of the school. I would recognize that car anywhere. "Hey, Kira," I told him, "your princess is here!" He rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue at me.

Imagine our surprise when not one but two pink-haired girls stepped out of the car.

"Hey, who's that?" Kira asked, oblivious to how rude it sounded. It was my turn to roll my eyes. "You do remember Lacus telling us that her twin sister Meer was going to be coming, right?"

He let out a loud "Oooooh…" and I elbowed him again to remind him shut his mouth as we walked toward the sisters.

Lacus spotted us soon enough. "Hi, guys! How was your summer?"

"Good enough," said Kira in that boyishly sheepish way that was Kira. While he talked, I told that time to look closely at Lacus's sister.

From far off, you couldn't really tell that they were much different. But from up close, the difference was obvious. This girl had the same pink hair and was dressed in the same uniform, but had a totally different air. Where Lacus chatted and socialized freely, her sister was hunched as if that was going to keep people from staring at her. She looked more sickly and skinnier than Lacus, and the way that she shuffled her feet nervously only emphasized the impression. 'She looks like she was about to collapse on her feet,' I observed.

All of a sudden, Lacus pushed her forward and exclaimed, "This is Meer Campbell, guys. Meer, these are two of my best friends Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala."

Meer was forced to look upward at us as she bowed, and I saw the desperation in her eyes. Kira and I both smiled at her, having enough sense to realize that she was scared out of her wits and that pointing and staring wasn't the best way to help her self-esteem.

"Where's Cagalli and Miriallia?" Lacus asked presently. "They were supposed to meet with us."

Kira scratched his head, apparently having forgotten to do something again. "Um, I think I lost them awhile back, when I was talking with Sai and Tolle. Sorry, Lacus…"

Lacus merely shrugged him off. "Don't worry! We'll find them eventually."

I always wondered why she could always forgive Kira so easily every single time he screwed something up, which was fairly often. Even though I was his best friend, I couldn't even forgive that easily.

"Come on, Meer!" she cried, catching her sister by the hand and half-dragging her to the doors. Kira and I both sweatdropped slightly. "We can go get our locker combinations and go to our first periods together!"

I didn't think this was going to help Meer's self-esteem any more, as she was even more scrunched up than she had been before. Somehow, this troubled me. I'd struggled to be accepted for who I was and always made an active effort to reach out to people, but this Meer Campbell never even tried. It was a bit pathetic, but empathy won over any other emotion.

"Um, Lacus?" I spoke up, "I don't think Meer's taking this very well. We should probably go find Miriallia first since she's the class rep." 'And best at dealing with unfortunates,' I added mentally. Lacus got the message.

"Oh, okay!" She stopped dragging Meer, glancing around before heading in another direction just as briskly. Kira and I followed hurriedly, barely able to keep up. "Your fiancée really gets things done," he told me. I sighed. Lacus could be really hard to handle when she got going. She must care for her sister a lot.

Finding Miriallia was harder than it sounded. For one thing, she was possibly the nicest girl (even more so than Lacus, which I hadn't thought was even possible) to roam the hallways, always around helping someone with homework or picking up someone's spilled pencilbox for them. This made securing her location a really difficult thing to do. Never mind that she was a Natural; she always seemed liked well by everyone in the school.

"Where is she?" I gasped, trying to follow Lacus without bumping into too many people. It took me a minute to realize that Kira wasn't with me anymore. I slowed, losing track of the two sisters in the process and looked around. Kira always had a great skill of getting lost, and it wasn't hard to do so in the crowded hallways on the first day of school. I sighed and rubbed my forehead. I guess I would have to just go ahead to my first period and hope that the two pink-haired sisters and my clumsy best friend would get there fine.

As I walked toward my first class with my locker combination clutched in my hand, I went out of my way to say hi to anyone and everyone I knew. That was basically my operating plan: act nice to the Naturals, and maybe they'll be nice to you, meanwhile ignoring the snobby Coordinators. I hated being compared to my father, the Chairman Zala. Why do people insist on tainting my image with that of a person like my father? Why can't they see my mother inside of me instead of him? For one thing, why can't they see who I am?

This year, my reputation seemed to hang in limbo. Some Naturals seemed not to mind me, some still hate me, most Coordinators like me, and a few hate my guts for trying to get the Naturals to like me. "Filthy Naturals," they spat at anyone who from Natural origins and anyone who ever tried to be friendly to Naturals. I hated their prejudiced ways, but could I help the fact that my own father was one of those same maniacs?

I was startled out of my thoughts were interrupted by a rude knock against the shoulder with someone. I raised my head, bewildered. It was then that I spotted whom had purposefully bumped into me: Shinn Asuka, my old friend who'd just become a freshman at this school. I started to grin at him, but the smile died on my lips as soon as I saw the rage in his red eyes. He had changed from what I remembered of him into someone very different than the carefree boy that he used to be.

As I looked at him, concerned, I saw his shoulders shake with suppressed violence. "Why…" he growled. "Why are you trying so hard to be liked by Naturals?"

Huh? What was he talking about? Back in junior high, Shinn Asuka had been like a little brother to me, and it wasn't as if he could distinguish between Coordinators and Naturals any better than the average person. Why had he suddenly changed so much?

I blinked a few times. "Um, excuse me?"

Now he was screaming. "I asked you why you love the Naturals so much, traitor!" The hallway where we were standing suddenly fell silent as the crowds turned to watch.

My heart fell through my stomach as I realized that the Shinn I had known had become a Natural-hater. Just like my father. "That's not the point, Shinn," I replied evenly. "Why do you _hate_ Naturals so much?"

"Answer the question, dammit!"

I took a deep breath, taking my time to calm myself. "Because, Shinn, I'm different from my father. Why should I hate Naturals?"

"But they destroyed Junius Seven in the last war!" I winced as the blow struck a tender part of my heart. "They took your mother from you!" I heard a collective gasp ripple through the audience, but that was meaningless. I had to calm down. I couldn't succumb to Shinn's truth, couldn't become like my father…

"You know what? Just mind your own damn business!" The words rang sharp and bitter through the silent hall, and I wondered where they had come from until I realized that my own mouth was still experiencing the aftertaste. I flushed angrily, turned my heel, and walked away. 'Athrun, you idiot!' my mind raged. 'He gives you the chance to come up with a comeback, and you blow it up in your own face!' A headache suddenly chooses that time to come raging through my senses, and I grit my teeth before heading for my first class as the 2-minute bell rings.

* * *

Um… hope I didn't write Shinn too badly. I know, some of you out there are Shinn-shippers, but I myself is an Athrun-shipper ;) I do believe that Shinn is a good kid who tries to do what he thinks is right and he is a talented mobile suit pilot, but the thing is that in the series, he wasn't the nicest of guys like Kira was nor the most patient, showing that he had some temperamental issues. I'm not quite sure that he hated the Naturals as much as he does in this fic, though, but let's just say I tweaked his past around a bit. Of course, I won't make him too bad. He's just got some issues that he's having trouble with at the moment, but he'll turn out as a good char. See you next chapter! 


	5. Cagalli

**This is What Dreams are Made of**

By BlackFeatherz29

Chapter 4: Cagalli

Okay, sorry I haven't updated for awhile (compared to my other chapters, anyhow...). Been busy this past week with tests and stuff. I actually wrote this chapter out before, and I was going to post it, but then I realized it was really short, so I added another five-hundred words or so last night. And about Athrun's POV in the last chapter, I'm a little disappointed in my readers about the reviews about the characterization of the people. I told you before in the author notes: This is an AU story. There are millions of possibilities of what the characters would turn out; the reason Athrun is like this is probably because Patrick Zala decided let his son stay on ORB instead of whisking him off to the PLANTS and suffer the death of his mother alone with no support, and in this story he has had the close bond with Kira all his life. If he stayed in ORB all his life, exposed to Kira's pacifist ways and all his Natural friends, wouldn't he not be a Natural-hater? And last chapter was the LAST TIME I was going to repeat that scene, because I hate writing flashbacks since they always seem so fake, and since he was going to be a main-main character, he needed to be able to say how he experienced that scene himself. And for the last time, please don't say that my characters are out-of-character. This is a AU story.

And for the two POVs in this chapter, I'm sure that you can figure out who's talking by yourself. The little tag at the top kinda ruins the appearance sometimes.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed or Seed Destiny. Sigh.

* * *

"Hey, look at that! Two Lacuses!" 

"No kidding! Hey, now that there are two, I'll bet I can get the other one to go out with me. She looks like a spineless coward!"

"Go ahead and try, idiot! Go up an' ask her!"

"You kidding? No way I'm asking that freak to go out with me. She's probably just a Lacus worshipper or something."

I let my head bang on her desk surface. "Damn snot-heads…" I whispered between lips smooshed onto the wood. I really hate those jocks in my classes. There always seemed to be at least five of them in each class I take, no matter how much I try to avoid them. And that other pink-haired girl; how rude, calling her a Lacus otaku! Lacus had told us herself that her twin sister Meer would be coming to our school, and she most definitely didn't sound like any sort of otaku.

"Will you just shut up?" I told them, unable to take it any longer. They just laughed me off as if I was nothing more than a kitten hissing at them for stealing her favorite ball of yarn. "Ooh, Atha's getting' mad! Always a feisty little fighter, aren't ya?"

"Don't gimme that!" I snarled back. "Just shut up!"

Just then, the classroom door slid open and a panting Kira stumbled into the room. The tardy bell rang loudly behind him as the door slid shut again.

"There you are, Cagalli!" he half-hollered in my direction. "I was looking for you!"

"Ooh, look, it's Atha's wimpy boyfriend!" one jock had the nerve to jeer. But as soon as Kira's innocent eyes washed over them, they slinked away like dogs with their tails between their legs. Because everyone knows that no matter how wimpy he looks sometimes, Kira could get really mad. Some people even said that once some unfortunate Coordinators got in a fight with his best friend, and he had dealt with them so thoroughly that all they could do afterwards was gibber incoherently. I scowled at him as he glanced quizzically back at me. Sometimes it paid off to have a friend who could mentally threaten whoever was bothering you, but other times it was just plain annoying.

"Thanks for coming in at the perfect moment," I told him sarcastically. "You just had to ruin my moment, didn't you? I'm always telling you that I really want to tell those jocks off."

I could literally hear his brain adding 'one plus one two', and then his face twisted into one of exasperation as he sat down in a desk beside me. "Cagalli, don't go off and start fights in the first place. You're only going to get into trouble."

I rolled my eyes and pouted, just in time to see Athrun coming into class, half a minute tardy.

"Mr. Zala," the teacher told him disapprovingly, checking off a sheet on his desk. "Why are you late for the first day of school?"

He scowled at something in the middle of the wall in front of him, obviously not a bit guilty at being late. "I got into an argument with a friend."

The teacher rolled his eyes, evidently having heard excuses like that all the time. "I see. I'll let you go this time, but remember not to be tardy again, you hear me?"

"Yes, sir." Athrun bowed a little then sank into a seat in front of Kira, kneading his forehead tiredly. "What's up?" I asked him, used to seeing him stressed out but never so much. "Who'd you get into a fight with?"

I could almost hear Kira's thoughts at that. Athrun continued rubbing his forehead. "So?" I asked impatiently. I could never wait to have an answer. "Who was it?"

"Shinn," he answered, adding a groan to the end of the name. "He stopped me in the hall and demanded why I was such a Natural lover." Kira and I both exchanged looks. We knew how Athrun was about the prejudice between Naturals and Coordinators and how deeply this must have affected him. "Shinn?" Kira wondered aloud. "Wasn't he that seventh grader who used to hang around you all the time in junior high?"

I nodded in confirmation. "Yeah. He was a nice kid, but he always got so mad at the smallest things."

"Like you?" Kira teased. I stuck my tongue out at him and continued. "So… Shinn's now a Natural-hater? I do remember vaguely that Emae was one of his best friends, and she was a Natural."

"She moved to Sydney at the end of the year." I shrugged indifferently. "What does that matter? The point is that he had a Natural friend. Now, he hates Naturals. Why?"

Kira glanced quickly to the teacher to make sure that he was still taking attendance. "I really don't know," he said offhandedly. "I knew him pretty well, and it didn't seem like he had any troubles that could make him so bitter. Maybe something happened last year?"

I shrugged again, then turned back to the teacher who looked about finished with his roll call. "You knew him better than me," I told him flatly. "Your guess is better than mine. Now, pipe down. Teacher's about to start."

I'd hoped that this year would be more interesting than the last one. Last year's academic teachers were totally 'ugh'. They lectured, and we took notes; that was the routine. I heard from some upperclassmen that sophomore year would be more interesting with Mr. Walton around, but by the time he had finished his'welcome back' speech, my brain was already half shut-down from boredom. His first impression on me was ruined. Instead of listening to him drone about what we would accomplish this year, I seized this chance to pay a little more attention to Lacus's sister, Meer.

'She _was_ really different', I murmured to myself. She looked like a wallflower… or at least she tried to act like one, but she wasn't going to get anywhere with that pink hair and her looks. I felt a spark of annoyance digging under my skin just like any time I came across one of these types. Because everyone knows that Cagalli Yula Atha can't stand to see her friends hurt in any shape or form, including being hurt by themselves. And if Meer was Lacus's friend (and sister), then Cagalli would be her friend.

I don't know why I always react this way to shy people. Maybe I'm too forward. Kira always teases me because I'm this way, but, hey, what can I say? That I'm ashamed of being this way? I can't say that, not ever. Because I never take back what I say. Okay… maybe I'm too defensive. But in this case, if I was going to be Meer Campbell's friend, it would be the best thing. From what Lacus has told us and my first impression of her, she didn't exactly seem like a person who would want to stand up for herself much. Perfect. As soon as I could, I was going to teach her to ditch that attitude and be herself.

I felt a twinge of doubt pass through my thoughts. I'd read in a story somewhere that you weren't supposed to force others to do something if it's because you're ashamed of them like that, because pride can be helpful when it succeeds and hurtful when it doesn't. I don't know why I felt this way toward shy Meer, but my pride kicked up the minute I lay eyes on her. I just can't stand to see people in this weakened state like this, I guess. For someone born strong and healthy like me, it was hard not to be conscious that not everyone else was as blessed as I was.

'You're not being selfish, Cagalli,' I told myself defiantly. 'You are doing this for the good of your new friend.' And yet, as I tuned back into Mr. Walton's class because of some worksheet she was currently passing out, I found myself remembering vaguely that that story had ended in tragedy for both the selfish one and the weak one.

* * *

I couldn't get him out of my mind. I really couldn't. As much as I tried to calm my thudding heart as my sister dragged me around the densely packed hallways, the tiny amount of focus I had gathered was nowhere near the amount I needed to calm myself down.

'Athrun Zala…' my mind buzzed feverishly. 'He's… beautiful…' Then one piece of information brought me completely down to Earth. Athrun… my mom had said that he was Lacus's fiancé. I silently cursed myself at not realizing this sooner. What kind of a sister was I, pining away after my own sister's fiancé?

'The worst kind…' I answered my own rhetorical question, feeling my already low self-esteem drop another few notches. I looked ahead at my wonderful twin sister, who was currently pulling me, the awful evil twin with the jealousy complex, along the hallway heading to our first period with great zeal and affection. I knew that I couldn't tell her that I'd gotten a crush on her fiancé and then beg for her forgiveness, even though she was the first one who would forgive a person for what she probably couldn't help doing. Even so, my inferiority complex insisted that I apologize for my crime silently for doing whatever I could for her. For starters… I forced the resistance from my body and let her drag me along, resulting in much more efficient travel time.

I felt totally deflated, never having done something so totally wrong before. I closed my eyes as we entered the classroom, choosing to sit far away from Athrun, Kira, Lacus, and the blond girl who was looking at me oddly. The question wasn't if Lacus or Athrun could forgive me, because they were kind people and because I would simply not tell them. The question at hand was if I was going to be able to forgive myself.

* * *

About the story that Cag's talking about, that story is The Scarlet Ibis by James Hurst. Some of you might have read it in freshman English or something. And I'm very sorry if Cag was off (I really can't write her). Look for the next chapter sometime next week. I won't be updating once a day anymore because my total enthusiasm has by now worn off, but I'm still trying to write this fic because I love Seed so much. Please review, in spite of my harsh words. I'm in Cag-mood-mode... 


	6. Kira

**This is What Dreams are Made of**

By BlackFeatherz29

Chapter 5: Kira

Next chapter… hope I didn't elaborate on Shinn too much. I don't really like him all that much, but I do feel like he deserves a lot of screen time in this fic since he was the main character of the Seed Destiny series. And about Kira, I'm absolutely horrible at writing him. I feel as if his character is split two ways: one is the childish boy who is clumsy and lovable, and one is the deadly soldier who cuts down anyone who gets in his way. I'm not sure how I could characterize him, since this is school, but the first war between the Naturals and the Coordinators is over, and that's bound to have affected him, although not as much as the original Seed series. This is one difficult plot I've cooked up for myself, so please enjoy my efforts. First POV is Kira, second is of course Meer.

Disclaimer: I don't own Seed or Seed Destiny. I'm only writing this story for my own enjoyment, and that of my reviewers, so no profit involved.

* * *

"Mou…" I moaned to myself. I was in my second period class, Literature, studying the legacy of Edgar Allen Poe, the father of short stories. Lacus sat beside me, busily taking notes as I nodded away, barely managing to stay awake. I never knew how she did it, acing all her schoolwork and tests while managing her busy schedule. For me, school is more than enough to handle. Just goes to prove that Lacus Clyne is capable of anything, or so I always tell her.

I shifted my position, laying my head on my arms in an attempt to rest awhile. 'Just awhile,' I thought, before a jarring tap on the top of my head made me sit bolt upright.

"Kira Yamato," came the disapproving sound of Mr. Telmann's voice as well as a hard tap tapping of his birch pointer. I slowly looked up to see him towering over me, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Um… hi?" I said, feeling stupid. Students around me laughed, but he did not look amused. Why do teachers here never have a sense of humor?

"Are you sleeping in class _again_, Mr. Yamato?" he asked me, his great bushy brows furrowed. I snuck a quick glance at Lacus, who was currently giggling and evidently had no sympathy for me in this uncomfortable position. "Um, yes?" I answered, feeling even more stupid than the first time. I waited expectantly for him to give me a penalty for falling asleep in his class twice in the same day. But he just walked back to his desk.

"Next time I catch you sleeping in class today," he told me, "I will personally see to it that you get a detention." I gulped, then hurriedly agreed. I didn't really care personally about the consequences, but the disappointed looks of my hard-working Natural parents would be enough to make me stay awake for a week.

Needless to say, I was careful to keep my eyelids wide open for the rest of the period. As soon as the school bell rang, I raced out of the classroom, heading for the library. This school was unique in that they offered a fifteen-minute break in between the second and third periods and one between fourth and fifth. I was heading to the library to look for Shinn.

Pushing back the large mahogany doors, I settled in a corner that I'd discovered last year. This place, accompanied with a comfy armchair, was ideal in spying on almost place in the library except the administration desk because it was hidden in a remote corner where no one could see. I propped a large leather-bound volume in my lap and scanned over the top of it for any sign of the boy that I was looking for. He wasn't in sight. I sighed, mentally berating myself for not confirming my information with someone else before heading over. From what I knew, Shinn always loved to read, so every spare minute, he'd come to the library to drown himself in its books. Who knows how his habits could have changed since whatever had changed him… changed him?

I heard a shuffling noise beside me. I raised my head in alarm. There he sat, the person I'd been looking for. Staring straight at me.

Athrun was right. He'd changed. His bright red eyes bored into mine like twin rapiers. I gulped, knowing that the inevitable was near. If he hated Athrun that much for being a Natural-lover, imagine what he'd think of me, a Coordinator who almost was a Natural.

"So, Shinn," I began, not wanting to waste the chance to make the first move. "How've you been since seventh grade?"

He didn't answer immediately. I think he was wondering if I had been joking or actually speaking sincerely. "Fine," he answered eventually, turning away slightly. I let out a small breath that I'd been holding. The first move had been successful. Now to go in for the… well, _target_.

As gently and as un-suspiciously as I could, I asked, "Athrun has told me about what happened this morning. He seemed to be bothered by it, and I'm just concerned for him."

Shinn then turned back to me, his glare intensified. "So he told you, right? Are you going to blame it on me, then? Are you going to condemn me as one of those snotty Coordinators in the ZAFT government who hate Naturals because they're inferior?"

I was taken aback by his reply. "Well, um-"

"Well, I'm not!" The librarian glared at him, so he forcibly calmed himself with a few deep breaths before continuing. "Forget it," Shinn told me, turning away. "Nobody would understand, especially the likes of _you_."

As he stood up to leave, I sensed a gap between the magma flares, although it was very narrow. Seizing the slim chance, I asked, "Um, understand what?"

He whirled in his heels, the rage back in his eyes. "I said that you wouldn't understand it," he seethed between gritted teeth, "and I damn well mean it! You would never, ever understand what a living _hell_ my life has become because of those blasted Naturals!"

Those words still hung in the dusty air before me long after Shinn Asuka had left the library that day. I couldn't even think to say anything to him as he left. I felt the edge of an overwhelming grief that he shouldered, so I did not blame him for his hatred. I was a person long accustomed to providing comfort to those in need, but this boy seemed to be beyond what I could offer. That was the sadness I felt, because I couldn't provide any comfort to a suffering fellow human being.

During lunch, Lacus, Cagalli, Athrun, Miriallia, Meer, and I met up at our usual table in the cafeteria. Not surprisingly, Cagalli had taken over the role of dragging Meer around the school, while Lacus was forcing every tiny bit of information from her sister as she possibly could and Miriallia was mock-scolding them. I tried to smile, but the corners of my mouth wouldn't turn up. Athrun noticed immediately. "What's wrong?" he asked, as the four girls totally blocked us out with their noise.

"Umm… nothing!" I tried to smile again, but failed even more miserably than last time.

"You're a horrible liar," he told me with a small smile. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that?"

I shrugged, stirring a plate of rice absentmindedly. "Actually, no." I wasn't a horrible liar; this just affected me too much. "I talked with Shinn," I told him shortly, breaking the ice.

"You did?" he asked, half-shocked and half-exasperated. "Kira, you don't need to stick your neck out for me all the time. I can handle this myself!"

I waved his response away as if it were nothing more than a housefly. "Athrun, I talked with Shinn," I repeated, totally serious. "I think something really bad has happened to him involving Naturals."

By this time, the girls had stopped fussing and were now listening up. "I figured as much," said Lacus softly, eyes cast down. "The only way he could have changed from such a happy boy is if he experienced some sort of tragedy in his life."

I turned to Cagalli, our resident expert on the politics of this region of the world (and our technical heir of this country). "Cagalli, do you know of anything that happened in ORB last year that could have caused anything like this?"

Cagalli scowled, just like I knew she would. "How would I know which single unfortunate event you would be talking about? Last year was the war between the PLANTS, ORB, and the Earth Alliance, remember? That war had nearly a hundred battles in itself; Shinn's tragedy could have been caused by any of them. And that's not including the small casualty revolts that break out here and there and the number of homicides that occurred all last year."

We quieted down, thinking of all the horror that had occurred last year. Sparked by 'Bloody Valentine', the day when the EA destroyed Junius Seven, toppling miles of dominoes that led to countless bloody battles and the possible destruction of the entire Earth. All of us were lucky that we survived here on ORB, although our loved ones had made great sacrifices.

"What could have happened to do this to him?" Athrun finally spoke up, his voice husky. "Almost everyone here has lost someone close to them, and yet… Shinn has a strong spirit, so what could have broken it?"

* * *

When Lacus and Kira left our little group to go to Literature down the 1600's hallway and I remained standing with Athrun and Cagalli (the blonde girl), I thought that I would never be able to live through rest of the day. True, I grew jealous of Lacus everywhere she went with me, but without her, it was if my only lifeline to this school was cut. Athrun definitely didn't need a weakling like me hanging around, especially when he was so troubled. Not to mention the guilt that roiled in my stomach every time I snuck a glance at him. And Cagalli cut a very intimidating silhouette in my opinion, having a stunning complexion, utmost confidence, and the prospect of being ORB's next leader after she came of age. Everyone knew who Cagalli Yula Atha was, even those who didn't know who Lacus Clyne was. I highly doubted that she would ever try and communicate with little old me.

Little did I know that after Lacus and Kira vanished into the crowd of students in the hallways that Cagalli would throw her arm around my shoulder and proclaim herself as my new best friend.

Actually, the exact thing she said was "Hi, Meer, I'm your sister's friend Cagalli Yula Atha, and from now on I'll be your friend and teach you how to stand up for yourself in this tough neighborhood."

What could I say to her? No? I never had any capacity in my self to say anything even resembling a 'no', so this was fundamentally impossible. "Um, o-okay…"

"Wonderful!" With that, she steered me toward the opposite end of the hallway and proceeded to march me forward, nearly choking me in the process. I heard a quiet chuckle, then realized that Athrun was laughing at me. I colored, closing my eyes in another pathetic attempt to block out reality.

"What are you doing, Meer?" asked Cagalli, frowning. "You're gonna get flattened in the hallways if you don't look where you're going."

"Um, I'm sorry," I mumbled, not feeling very apologetic at the moment. I felt numb from all the emotions swirling inside me. But that didn't last long as Cagalli gave a sound push to my backside, driving me forward about a foot and a half.

"Don't say sorry for something like that!" she exclaimed, dragging me up from my half-crouched position. "Don't let anything or anyone intimidate you into doing something you don't want to do!"

Athrun sidled up to us, a sheepish smile on his lips. "I think that maybe Lacus is more evil than she lets on by leaving poor Meer with you," he remarked to a scowling Cagalli. She pouted at him, not dropping her image for a second. "Quiet, you. Meer is in serious need of some conditioning, and Lacus is too nice to be able to be able to do what I do."

He held his hands up in mock surrender. Looking at me with an apologetic half-smile, he whispered to me, "Be careful with Cagalli the drill sergeant around. Don't let her slap you around too much."

"Athrun!" Cagalli growled and strangled the air with a free hand as if it were Athrun's neck. "Don't spread your bad influence on Meer!"

"Au contraire! Your impulsiveness has led many a pleasant situation to take a turn for the worst."

"Why you…!"

I had to smile at that. Despite all the guilt that still weighed down my stomach like a stone, Athrun and Cagalli's comedy act did much to cheer me up. They were good people, like Kira and Lacus herself. I couldn't just reject their charity just because I was Meer Campbell, the Ice Queen and resident island of sociability. I had a hunch that this playful banter was kept up mostly for my entertainment, and my guess was confirmed when Cagalli finally released me, exclaiming, "She smiled! Meer's not dead!"

Maybe the lords up above have blessed us. Maybe this school year wouldn't be so bad. Maybe Mom finally made a right decision by moving us to ORB. And maybe… maybe we could be a family again.

* * *

Okay… maybe the ending was too abrupt. Just goes to show how horrible I am at writing people in-character in these sorts of AU fics. I don't have much left over to say this time… but I hope I will be able to maintain this steady pace and actually finish this fic this time. Reviews would be very helpful, and they'll keep me writing! 


	7. Lunamaria

**This is What Dreams are Made of**

By BlackFeatherz29

Chapter 6: Lunamaria

Yep, it's the next chapter. This one is kind of short, because I wasn't sure how to write Stellar (does she talk in third person a lot? Cuz I get the impression that she does), who I would have done in the next POV. But Luna is rather natural for me to write, since I usually talk in the kind of bossy-girl tone she uses a lot. I'll use Shinn's POV in the near future sometime ;P First POV is of course Luna, and then it's a bit of Meer, which is completely unrelated to the previous POV. Well, that is until Meer meets Luna.

* * *

Shinn Asuka has been my best friend… well, since forever. We grew up together when we met in kindergarten here on ORB, when on the first day he stepped on my new bottle of glue and got himself covered head to toe in gooey white when it burst open. I still remember panicking that day because some wise guy had decided to tell me that the fumes from glue could shrink your brain into something resembling a walnut. Oh wait, that 'wise guy' had been Shinn. I remember yelling at him soundly for a good five minutes later during recess.

He and I were inseparable during all of elementary school. It didn't matter that I was a girl and he was a boy; we stuck together like equal signs in an equation. Back then, nobody really liked 'gross boy' Shinn, who kept on pulling pranks on the other kids, and 'bossy girl' Lunamaria, who always bossed everyone around like she owned them. We didn't care. As long as two best friends have one another, it's all good.

In fourth grade, we met Rey za Burrel, the new kid from PLANTs that no one knew anything about. Ever since then, he's been the stable base of our little posse. Shinn being the fun-loving kid he was, and me being too busy overachieving on schoolwork, he was the only person who was able to keep our trio together with a minimum of arguments, despite his long mysterious absences.

Junior high was supposed to be our golden years, but then the war broke out. My parents whisked me and Meyrin away to PLANTs in order to guarantee our safety, especially when they heard that Heliopolis had been destroyed so close to home, it also being a neutral nation. Shinn and his family stayed on ORB, and I never really knew where Rey went. The next thing I know, the war is over, Onogoro Island is a smoldering heap of ash, and my two best friends had changed.

Arriving on the first day of high school at Orb Academy, I didn't run into Shinn until first period, and Rey wasn't even there. It was like Shinn had been avoiding me. I later learned that he'd gotten into an argument with Athrun Zala, who had been Shinn's older brother figure during our seventh grade year and my first crush. I couldn't understand why Shinn would do such a thing, and Athrun wasn't the type of person to start an argument either. I attempted conversation with him throughout the whole of our first period, but all I could get was a glare of angry red eyes. He wasn't the Shinn that I knew and loved. And although he was still my friend, I found that I couldn't bring myself to speak to him. He gave people the impression that he wanted to be left alone and that anyone who attempted to socialize with him would get hurt. I couldn't bear to bring my best friend more pain, because nothing could affect Shinn more than grief.

So, I turned to my friend Stellar Loussier. Truth be told, I probably hadn't been thinking straight then. Stellar was a quiet individual, very kind but also very childlike, with a talent for spinning philosophical tales. It was ironic that I would turn to someone so tranquil for help in dealing with Shinn. But she always exuded a peaceful presence and had a surprisingly commanding air with her uniquely vivid features. I'd met her and her cousins Sting Oakley and Auel Neider in the first year of junior high, and although I haven't known her for very long, somehow I knew that she was the one for the job. She was an orphan, currently living with Auel, so she also knew the pain of loss.

It was third period, directly after the short break between second and third. Shinn was all the way at the far end of the room, immersed in himself as the professor did not even attempt to teach anything on the first day of school. I was whispering fervently to Stellar and her cousins, sneaking peeks at Shinn as though I thought that he might know what I was up to.

"So, you see," I concluded, "I'm really worried about Shinn, and I was wondering if you could help me out with him. He looks like he's in a lot of mental pain, so I thought that you might be better at sympathizing with him than me-"

"Oh, I get it," Auel drawled sarcastically. "You're too scared to go talk to your own friend, so you send Stellar here to do it instead. Why don't you do it yourself? It's your problem, not ours."

Sting shot him a warning look, irritated. "Auel, you don't have to villainize every person you meet. Lunamaria has a good purpose in her offer. You know what it feels like to be in pain yourself, don't you?"

Stellar immediately smoothed over the spat. "Auel, Stellar can do what she wants herself. You don't need to worry about her so much. And Luna is Stellar's friend, so if Stellar can be of any comfort for Luna's friend, than she will do it."

That pretty much settled it for Sting and Auel. The latter shrugged his shoulders dismissively, and muttered something like, "It's your funeral," while the former let out a breath he'd been unconsciously holding and smiled. "Auel doesn't like it when Stellar involves herself in Coordinator business," he told me, which I nodded at. It was understandable. Stellar and her cousins were Naturals.

That struck me as odd. "Sting, why aren't you against helping Coordinators like Auel is? And why aren't you, Stellar?"

Sting shrugged, suggesting that he didn't care much for racial slurs. And Stellar just gave her innocent smile, looking like a little angel. "Because Stellar doesn't care what the difference is between Coordinators and Naturals. After all, there are much worse things in the world to fight about, so Stellar doesn't mind this."

The bell rang, and we all gathered up our schoolbags and filed slowly out of the classroom. As I squeezed in behind a random guy, a sharp elbow in the ribs made me turn around. It was Auel. He glared at me with angry eyes.

"Don't take advantage of Stellar just because she's naïve," he whispered in my ear hoarsely, "You don't know how much she's done for us, so stop trying to stick your nose into business that's not yours. She's not just a puppet that can bend to your every will."

I was plenty creeped out and very confused when I sat down at a random lunch table with Rey (he'd just arrived). Of course I wasn't going to take advantage of shy Stellar. What could Auel be thinking? That I would mistreat her like she was my own personal toy? His words came back to me: 'You don't know how much she's done for us.'

* * *

Gym class. Absolute horror. Boys leering at girls, girls shrinking from the ball (me included), Cagalli screeching at the boys, and Athrun holding her back from pummeling the boys, most notably Yzak Jule and Dearka Elsman.

"Damn jocks!" she was screaming in their direction, tears rolling down her face. "Never insult my father again! Never use his name in such a vulgar way!"

"Um, Cagalli…" I was saying, my sentence trailing off and dying in a dank corner somewhere. There was something very wrong going on here. This wasn't the usual Cagalli tantrum.

The gym teacher blew a shrill whistle, making her stop fussing just long enough for Athrun to get a better grip on Cagalli's shoulders before she started up again. I watched with a kind of morbid fascination.

Yzak Jule and Dearka Elsman. Possibly the most frightening people I'd met today. Yzak was a famous Natural-hater who always got in spats with our group, mostly Athrun and Cagalli. At least, he tried with Athrun (but didn't always succeed), but usually he targeted Cagalli because of her tendency to get into random arguments with anyone who crossed her path. Dearka was usually known as Yzak's henchman, a player, and as slippery as a snake. The first thing he had seen of me was of my chest, and he'd immediately slinked up to me. "Yo, girl. You're hot; wanna go out with me?"

Before I could shrink away, Cagalli came to my rescue. "You again, Elsman? Go bugger off and find a real slut to bother."

He shrugged and walked off. I could have sworn I was permanently scarred for life. "Um…"

"That was Dearka Elsman," she told me, jerking a thumb over her shoulder in his general direction. "Don't even look at him. He's so full of himself and thinks all the girls like him." Gesturing to the silver-haired boy who was leaning against the wall, she explained, "That's Yzak Jule, Dearka's best friend. He's even worse than Dearka as far as personalities go. Thinks that everyone else is so far beneath him that they're worth less than dirt on his shoes. He hates Athrun and me especially, and he's one of those Natural haters. Never go near him, hear?"

I nodded numbly. My breath then hitched in my throat as I spotted the same boy walking (or more like sauntering) over. "C-cagalli..!" I whispered, "he's coming!"

"Talking about me, Atha?" came an arrogant voice. My friend turned slowly toward the figure, a deathly glare on her face. "Why the hell do you care, Yzak?"

He shrugged casually, sunlight glinting off of his silver hair. A few girls swooned in the background. "I don't. But I can't just ignore this great opportunity." Shooting a glance toward a pile of gym equipment, he said, "A match, Atha. Soccer. Care to get your butt kicked again?"

I knew that Cagalli was beyond control now. Soccer was her life, besides politics. Steam was pouring out of her ears. "You're on, Jule! And for your information, it was a tie last time!"

"Whatever." Yzak turned to go, but before he had gone more than a few feet, he turned back around with a sly grin. "And Atha, the war is starting again. You won't have your precious _father_ around to protect you this time. Not that he was ever honorable…"

"YZAK!" That was the last straw, evidently. Standing right up to Yzak, Cagalli grabbed a handful of Yzak's shirt. "What gives you the right to insult Uzumi Nara Atha that way?" she screamed, moisture beading around the corners of her eyes. "My father was a great leader!"

Yzak hesitated just a moment, then said quietly, "Tell me that on the field."

* * *

The weirdest chapter so far. 0.0 I'm really not sure if Stellar talks in third-person that much, but for sake of appearances, when she is talking about more personal things, she will use third-person as if to distance herself from, er, herself. Yzak and Dearka are probably much more OOC than Cagalli now. I'm trying to keep up the appearance that they are very cruel and vulgar on the outside, but I most definitely won't be bashing them. I'm really wondering when Yuna should turn up. Maybe the last period of the first day? 


	8. Shinn

By BlackFeatherz29

Chapter 7: Shinn

(is sorry she has not updated in awhile) I was on vacation in Disney World for about a week (including four straight days of driving), and before that I wrote a segment that I didn't think would fit very well, since I think I should talk a bit more about Meer for a period. This chapter features Shinn (this is for you, ritachi, and everyone else) in a shorter segment as a slightly more juicy bit than any other chapter, and then of course Meer. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review! I've been noticing my rate of reviews per chapter are going way down since I started this fic...

EDIT: Changed parts that ritachi-san and dark.retreat-san told me about! Sorry! Mayu's seiyuu's name is Maaya, so I got them confused... Also, I added a huge chunk in Meer's section in order to flesh her out a bit.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed Destiny in any way or form. (awkward silence; crickets chirp) ... I have no humor today.

* * *

"...and so, for the second six weeks, we will be studying the Hundred Years War between England and France and other Central European conflicts, ending with the Troubles between British and the Irish..." 

It was almost nauseating, really, how much our teacher seemed to deappreciate what he was teaching. Speaking in that droning, dry voice... it's as if he wished he was bored with his own subject and wanted out of this class just as much as I did. I couldn't really blame him for that, but because he was teaching this particular subject, he should at least have a little respect for the people he were talking about. At least, that's what I thought.

At the end of our last school year (which I had taken in summer school) when the school officials handed out the course selection sheets, I had immediately noticed this class. 'No. 3041: Wars.' My mind immediately latched onto it. There was finally another way to sink my teeth into dealing with my loss.

Now I was sitting here in seventh period, bored out of my mind. This wasn't exactly what I had expected. I scowled briefly, thinking of what a rotten first day of school this had been. First Athrun, then Lunamaria whispering behind my back (why the heck couldn't she just talk to me straight?), and now this. I shifted in my seat, settling into a slightly more comfortable position. Checking my watch, I let out a small sigh. Still twenty more minutes of this torture.

Exactly twenty minutes later, the bell finally rang, signalling the end of the school day. Scrapes of chairs came, including my own, as we exited the classroom. Once outside, I stretched my arms in the bright sunlight. There were some things about life that technology just couldn't substitute. I allowed myself to smile once, closing my eyes to let the sunlight warm my face. For a moment, it almost seemed as if my life was the same old life as it once was.

Rey, Luna, and I would walk home, I'd open the door to fill my nostrils with Mother's cooking, I'd hear that annoying little ringtone Maya had insisted on setting on her pink cellphone, do my homework to a comfortable silence, and fall asleep by the quiet voices of my parents discussing the plans of another day.

I hated being alone.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped; I couldn't help it. "What was that for?" I snapped back on pure reflex.

It turned out to be a girl. A girl with magenta eyes almost as freakish as mine, and bright blonde hair to top that off. Watching her eyes widen, I was suddenly struck by deja vu. I could almost swear that Mayu was the one standing in her place. As she backed off, I immediately felt the same guilt that I did whenever I snapped at my sister. A powerful wave of regret hit me as I relived the last words I would ever exchange with Mayu.

_" What is with you, Shinn?" she'd shrilled. "Ever since you started eighth grade, you suddenly got this new attitude and you always yell at whatever I do!"_

_"Just shut up, Mayu!" I'd screeched back in blind anger even as our family left our home for better shelter. "You'll never understand how embarrassing it is for you to tag along to every little place I go!" _

After that, she'd refused to speak to me at all. That hadn't been a problem. There wasn't any time to talk anyway, what with all the running. I knew what I'd done was wrong, of course. My conscience wasn't dead.

So when an explosion rocked the earth beneath our feet and Mayu's precious pink cell phone slipped out of her grasp and slid down into the woods, I took off after it as a task of repention. Even as I heard my mother screaming my name as I plummeted down the powdery dirt slopes, it didn't occur to me just how much danger we were in or how wrecked my sense of judgement had been. Just as my hand closed around the laminated plastic surface, I felt myself thrown backward into the trunk of a tree.

Only then did I realize the gravity of the situation. And tragically, that moment was the same moment that they disappeared from this world. I didn't have another chance. And because of my selfish act of self-redemption, I'd let my sister and my parents die. Some payback.

I stared at the face in front of me. The kindness and the innocence reflected back to me through those eyes were like Mayu's, were Mayu's. And then I felt grainy moisture build at the corners of my eyes, because any memory of them was painful. I couldn't see anything past my sister's eyes. I couldn't forgive myself...

"Are you okay?" It took me a moment and several gritty blinks to see the true face in front of my eyes. 'How embarrasing' I thought, quickly wiping my eyes on my sleeve. 'I can't be strong if I keep seeing Mayu in every girl I meet.'

"Um, yeah." I felt light-headed and clueless at her attention. I vaguely remembered that I had unwittingly snapped at her just a few seconds ago. "Oh, um, I'm sorry I yelled at you." 'Smooth, Shinn...'

Instead of answering, the girl gave a sweet smile and nodded in acceptance. "Stellar hopes you feel better soon. She hopes that you will remember her name the next time we meet." I felt the breeze as she floated past me, positively waltzing up the drive and out of sight. Only one thought registered through my dumbfounded brain.

'What... was she?'

* * *

It was the exhausting end of a long and interesting day. I was lucky that Lacus was in my last period, or else I would be walking home like everyone else, with no courage to go up and ask her about catching a ride in her shiny limosine home. Lacus would be going to the recording studio after school because she had to record new songs for an upcoming album about to be released. Even when she apologized, she did so with the utmost grace which made you feel almost honored when you accepted it instead of the guilt you usually do. Or else... I did. 

"But you can still take the limo," she told me cheerfully. "The studio's not far, and I have my butler to accompany me. My driver will still be in the car so he can drive you home."

I was all set to refuse. "Oh, no, I couldn't possibly--"

Lacus brushed me off with the effortless smile that always seemed to force a choking feeling of guilt from my stomach. It was always that way with me. Try to refuse, and they force it on you anyway. And a person like me could never have the stomach to refuse their generous offers after they force it on me.

I sighed as Lacus's limosine pulled up the curb next to the school, feeling heavy with debts piling up on me. So many good people who did whatever they could for me. This was only the first day of school, but it would already seemed like it would take an eternity to pay back the selfless acts everyone had done for me. Letting the driver close the door behind me (because I didn't want him to think he was useless if I told him off like Lacus had), I shifted a little in my seat. The expensive leather stuck to the back of my thighs.

This was going to be a really interesting year, I had to admit. When Yzak had provoked Cagalli into a soccer game, it seemed like it was really going to get bad. Cagalli was dead set on avenging her father, and Yzak... I got the feeling that he didn't want to give up. Surprisingly, though, she won the game before class was through. I think we were all really shocked, too. She started yelling at him again afterwards about not having a game worth avenging her father's honor on... so I don't think they really resolved anything.

This was all very well, but the one thought that kept dragging down was doing its job very well. What in the world was I going to do about my feelings? This was the first time I'd felt this way...

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'd been waiting for that moment for my entire life. When Lacus first became famous a few years ago, I positively idolized her. I loved Lacus's songs, her strength, and most of all, her life. I was in a Pink Princess phase during that time of my life, and I was shameless because I thought that because she was my sister, that I was somehow more deserving to being a princess. Why? Simple. I was Lacus... or at least I looked like her.

I went around twirling imaginary skirts as if I were Lacus and singing in the same voice as her, and people would ask, "Is that Lacus?" I would glow with glee when people gathered to watch me. I felt like I was Lacus, and that I was actually living her life. I was so naive...

My fake security broke the first time somebody discerned that I wasn't Lacus. A mother had remarked innocently that she didn't think that Lacus's eyes were that blue, and her hair so red. I don't think anybody else heard, but somehow that just broke me. Somehow... the belief that I was Lacus had kept me from feeling sad all my life. And now I felt like I was a imposter caught in the act and about to be handed over to the authorities. My eyes were opened to my own remarkable ignorance and selfishness.

I don't think I ever recovered from that. There's still a sore spot in my heart that still makes me hate myself for how much trouble I caused for Lacus, so I began to turn away from her. That's why all my voluntary choices nowadays are different from hers. But we end up liking the same things anyway. Like romance stories...

I was positively addicted when I was younger, and now even though I don't read those types of books anymore, I still unconsciously feel like pining for some sort of fated meeting with my destined other.

I was so unlucky... the one time I fall in love, it turns out to be my own sister's fiance. Athrun was Lacus's fiance, and I couldn't betray her... it would be like she was the pure heroine and I was the evil witch who wanted the prince for herself!

And yet... was it really so wrong to like him? Surely it wouldn't be so bad...

No! It is a sin! A really really bad one! It would be awful if it showed that I liked him... surely it's only a schoolgirl crush; nothing serious! Everything would be okay if I covered my feelings, right?

... maybe I could still admire him from far away? That wouldn't be so bad, would it? I wouldn't be hurting anyone then, would I?

No, no no! That was still bad! Just liking him is bad enough! No, I had to stop liking him... but at this point, this seemed utterly impossible to do. What in the world was I going to do?

I needed to calm down. It was bad enough that I liked Athrun, but letting the driver see me like this was like strolling up to Lacus and whispering this secret directly into her ear. I couldn't let anyone know. Lacus, Cagalli, Kira, Athrun, Miriallia. Everything in their friendly little group was perfect. They didn't need a drifting loner like me to bother them.

* * *

Finally finally done. Had to squeeze the Meer-ness out of me. Phew, my agitated stage is past. That's what got me into the weird little self-conversation that Meer had over herself. And then the depressiveness set in :D Well, even though this chapter had sort of a bummer ending for Meer, wonder what's going to happen with Shinn and Stellar? And be sure to tune into Auel and Sting, because I've got plans for them. 


	9. Auel

This is What Dreams are Made of

By BlackFeatherz29

Chapter 8: Auel

Long time no see, faithful readers! (big smile) I've been basically procrastination on everything else and focusing instead on drowning myself in total crack. That's right, a crossover humor fic. But last night, I watched a movie and suddenly got really sad. And it was one of those cheesy teenage romance movies with Hilary Duff, so as to why I got sad, it's a mystery. And I wrote this all in almost one go :D

I will edit the last chapter (Augh! I forgot it was Mayu instead of Maya! seiyuu is named Maya And I tried to speed up the plot way too fast!) as soon as this is up, since at the current moment I am typing, I have no Internet as I have just moved into a new house. Hope you enjoy! First is Auel, then it is Meer. 'Tis two weeks into the school year already.

Disclaimer: Erm… most of this chapter belongs to me except the chars' names, as I totally changed their personalities. But the J-pop song in the Meer section is Houki Boshi, by Youhna, which is one of my favorite songs. I transliterated the bit by myself, so please forgive me if it has any mistakes.

* * *

My forehead pulsed. The blood vessels underneath my skin made a rhythmic _thump-thump-thump_ inside that just made the impatience intensify.

"What the hell is Stellar thinking spending so much time with that bastard?" I exploded, releasing the pent-up fury inside that I'd been holding in since day one. Five hundred feet away, my cousin and my life was smiling angelically and socializing with a moody Natural-hater that had no right to enjoy her attention.

Sting shot me a 'look', only causing me to snarl at him. "Don't gimme that damn look!" I snapped back, shooting a quick glance to make sure Stellar hadn't heard.

"Don't say, 'don't gimme that damn look' again," Sting told me, his voice calm and steady, only barely laced with tension. "Hold your tongue at school. If Stellar hears, it will only cause her pain. And you don't want that, do you?"

I ground my teeth loudly, knowing that it annoyed him. He gave me a warning squeeze of the shoulder and walked off toward the football field. My anger slowly drained away, leaving me in a bad mood.

What right did Shinn Asuka have to spend so much time with our Stellar? On the first day of school, Lunamaria had personally asked Stellar to befriend him. I had known it was a bad idea even then. That darn purple-haired hag had taken advantage of gentle Stellar's kindness to try and attempt to take back an enemy who was no longer her friend as if Stellar had been nothing but a fishing net cast out to sea for a shark to tear into pieces.

Lunamaria's plan had been doomed from the start. No Natural-hater ever came back to his senses, not now that the war was starting up again. Last summer had been filled with barely contained anger from both Naturals and Coordinators even though there was supposed to be peace, but ever since Patrick Zala had been saved from that assassination attempt, both of the races became violent. Zala grew to become more ruthless than ever, deliberately provoking us to feel inferior to the Coordinators.

Gentle Stellar didn't belong in that cruel world of politics and prejudice. She was too young, too free, too good to be biased against. She meant so much to Sting and me that we couldn't bear to see her hurt.

She would be cut down like a delicate butterfly with a torn wing. I had to protect her. I swore that I would never let anyone get close to her lest they betrayed her loving heart.

I didn't care if I was labeled a freak or even expelled. She meant more to me than my meager body because of what she did for me when no one else would.

I won't let anyone, not even Shinn who didn't seem to hate her, or Lunamaria who respected her, get any closer to our Stellar.

"Auel!" came that musical voice. I turned to look in her direction, and was filled with fury. She was waving me over, Shinn still at her side. I gritted my teeth. No way in hell was I going over there.

"Auel!" she said again, more persistent this time. "Come over here! I want you to meet someone!"

I gave in. How could I go against Stellar's judgment? I would hurt her if I refused. "Coming," I sighed, trying to settle my roiling stomach. Rage still made my ears burn, persisting on possessing me.

I was now right in front of her. I refused to look at Shinn, averting my eyes to look instead at Stellar.

"So what do you want?" I asked, trying to sound casual. I couldn't let the anger show.

"I want you to meet someone," she told me, confirming my greatest fears. I turned slightly, as if I had just noticed that someone else was there. I refused to look him full in the face. All I could see of him beneath my shaggy blue bangs was a thatch of dark hair and a bright red eye.

What a freakish eye color, I thought to myself.

"Shinn, this is one of my best friends and my cousin, Auel Neider."

I saw Shinn stick out a hand rather reluctantly. "Um, nice to meet you," he offered with genuine emotion, surprising me for a second. I regained my senses and closed my eyes while shaking his hand. I didn't want to look at him any more than I had to.

I heard him give out a stifled gasp as I squeezed his hand. I resisted crushing it into tiny useless pieces, but couldn't help cutting off circulation for a few seconds. This was my warning. 'Don't get too close to her, or I'll make you wish you were never born.'

I glared at him for a split second before replying to him by way of, "Hmph." Shinn seemed to have gotten my message. Mission complete. But then I saw the look in his eyes. Compared to the look in her eyes.

"Auel, this is Shinn Asuka, one of my new friends!" I grunted in reply, and then sauntered away without looking back.

I didn't want to look at Shinn again. He was stealing away Stellar's heart, I told myself. He was being nice to her only in order to betray her. He had to know that she was a Natural; he had to know that _I _was a Natural! Why else would a pompous Coordinator like him try and get close to her?

I hate seeing that look in Stellar's eyes. That tenderness, that kindness aimed at someone else. I knew the truth, but I tried to deny it completely, choosing to condemn Shinn for corrupting her.

The truth was, he didn't know she was a Natural. And he liked her just as she liked him. And I knew it.

My rage exploded like the Hindenburg. It was that hag's entire fault, making Stellar meet him! It was all her fault that Stellar had strayed outside her cage and became addicted to the world outside! It was all her fault that she was going to be betrayed by the Coordinators' brainwashing capabilities! IT WAS ALL HER FAULT!

I tore down the driveway, fury washing away everything else. I couldn't count how many people I knocked down. I couldn't remember anything except focusing on that one head of bright hair standing under a tree.

I grabbed her shoulder first. Lunamaria shrieked with surprise, then with fright when she realized it was me.

"Auel Neider? What are you doing here?" she asked, fear evident in her expression. I let it all out.

"You think you're God, don't you?" I screamed at her. "You think you could use our Stellar to get your friend back, but you can't! He's the devil incarnate to her! HE'S A FREAKING NATURAL-HATER!"

Now she was trying to get her wits back. "Now look here, I don't know who—"

I lowered my face until I was eye-to-eye with her. How tiny and frail she seemed to me. "No, you look here," I told her in a deadly half-whisper. "I will do anything to protect Stellar, and roughing you up a bit doesn't disturb my conscience in the slightest. You see, Naturals and Coordinators don't mix, especially our Stellar and Shinn Asuka. I don't know what we've done to twist him up so much, and I don't care. All I'm concerned with is getting Stellar out of his grasp. He'd wring her neck the first chance he gets, and he's gotten plenty of chances."

I brought my face closer, letting my emotions take over. I felt overwhelmed. "I want you and Shinn out of our lives. I don't care where you go; I just want you to get out! You damn Coordinators don't deserve to hurt her – you don't deserve –"

Dammit, now I was starting to get choked up, but by now I had no more control. I grabbed Lunamaria by the collar. "—you don't deserve someone like her! All you want to do is destroy us! Stellar is – Stellar is – she's the first person to ever show me love!"

I let her go. My tears stung my cheeks, but I didn't even care that I was crying anymore. I was beyond feeling.

"All of you… all of you! None of you Coordinators deserve to have Stellar in your lives! She's – she's – too good for any of you all! She's my life – she – she – she's just like my moth—"

My chest contracted suddenly. My head swam, the world spun in front of me through my tears like a kaleidoscope. 'Mother…!' I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think of anything except my mother. I saw those cruel eyes hidden beneath a sea of wavy hair. I saw that hand, with its red hooked claws, approaching like the claw of the Leviathan, aimed for my throat.

They seized me, and I suffocated. I gasped for air, but nothing was coming. My eyes went wide, but saw nothing anymore. I felt suspended in the air. My limbs went completely limp.

'Auel!' the voice seemed far away and dreamlike. I couldn't turn my head, helpless as I was. No one could help me now…

And then I felt her treacherous hand release me and my body fall toward the hard, unforgiving ground. My head bounced back as if in slow motion as something held me back, and my chest wheezed painfully as the ribs struck against it. And then I came to rest.

* * *

Really, I had no resistance against the addicting qualities of music.

"Atashi ga… houki boshi menareta nareba! Afureru hikari furesu yo, itsumo—"

It's hard to forget that my voice was one of the main contributors to my self-esteem when you sing such happy music. One of the main things I like about it; it keeps me going when I feel ready to stop. Depressing music like Lacus's just makes me want to plop down and cry. I didn't know how she could stand it.

"Atashi ga… houki boshi menarte nareba! Kitto soba ni ite ageru, donna toki mo…"

My mom stuck her head through the doorway, peering irritably up at me jumping on the bed.

"Meer, for God's sake!" she screeched, magazine in hand. "Keep it down! It's nine o'clock!"

I rolled my eyes and let my bottom land this time instead of my feet. Just as well, anyway. The song was ending.

"Have you eaten your dinner?" Of course she'd never remember about that with her nose buried in one of those celebrity magazines.

"Yes, mom."

"Have you finished your homework yet?" Inevitable.

"Yes, mom."

"Have you invited your friends over for karaoke yet?" What?

"Ehhh?" I asked, momentarily confused. Then I realized that she was cracking a joke, and my face started to twitch.

"Don't make fun of my singing!" I yelled at her retreating back, completely humiliated. How dare she? Singing was my only talent… well, even though I don't completely own it, it was only fair that I had at least one thing I was good at. At least, when Kami-sama programmed me for ascension to Earth, it seemed a wonderful idea, but he must have forgotten than he'd programmed Lacus with the exact same gift as well as many others.

I could still hear my mother's tittering behind the opaque white wall, and I burned with embarrassment at that, now completely sober. There was no endless energy keeping me bouncing back on the trampoline of life. The force was dead, the energy destroyed in a flash that defied the laws of nature. Energy cannot be destroyed? That was total bull. It had just been.

Who was I, really, to be so possessive of my singing ability? I was nothing but a clone of Lacus, who also had the same gift. She not only shared it with me; she had the genuine article, hers was superior to mine, and she wasn't afraid to use it. She wasn't afraid to use it…

I was back to normal. As normal as I could ever be. Old depressive Meer, that's me. And her old friend, the green monster of jealousy, reappeared cackling on her shoulder once again, having momentarily been rendered invisible during those precious minutes of joy.

I felt tired, much more tired than usually. My body had aged forty years in the span of a few seconds. I was spent, and my body could no longer support itself.

I fell back on the bed, my face looking up directly into the bright ceiling light. My pupils dilated in response, my brain protesting its discomfort, but I felt so old and tired that I couldn't bring myself to even lift that arm to block the light out from my eyes, let alone get up to turn it off.

I was so pathetic. And I had the nerve to have friends like them.

It was ironic, really, this situation. The light. It had been two weeks now since the first day of school. I basked each day in school in a warm spotlight lit up by Lacus, Cagalli, Athrun, and co. It felt good at first, the warmth and the love bursting through the circle of people, but as time went on, the light became unbearable.

It burned my skin, made it peel off and exposing the sensitive flesh underneath. It pierced through my eyes like arrows from God's angels at Judgment Day, condemning my soul to eternal suffering inside the shell of my body and blinding my windows to life. I roasted alive in my skin each day, conscious that soon it would reduce me to nothing but dust in the wind.

My eyelids sagged at the thought. Spending this much brain power on nothing but inventing creative similes sapped my strength. But though I had snapped shut the shutters on the windows to my soul, how was it that I could still see the light through them? It was bloody red now, instead of blinding white and yellow.

The phone rang. I could have easily rolled over onto my side and picked up the white plastic receiver on my bedside table, but I didn't. I opened my eyelids a few millimeters and just lay there, listening to it ring. Serves them right, calling so late and at such a horrible time, I thought.

The ringing stopped abruptly without going to the recorded message. Mom must have picked it up. I exhaled slowly, closing my eyes to the light.

Footsteps came hurrying to my doorway. 'No way,' I thought numbly. 'No way that call's for me—'

"Meer, hurry up and get off of that bed," came my mother's voice impatiently. "It's Lacus, for you."

I reluctantly opened my eyes again and sat up. My head felt oversized on my skinny neck. I groped blindly for the phone, and then asked in a thick, flat voice, "Hello?"

"Hi, Meer! It's Lacus." Big surprise there.

"Oh, hi." Pause.

"This might not be a great time to call, but…"

"No, it's fine." It was a horrible time, but she didn't need to know that, did she?

"Oh, okay! I wanted to ask if you wanted to come to the studio with me after school tomorrow for a little surprise."

My eyes flew open completely in shock. Me, at the studio? "What?"

I must have sounded really surprised, because Lacus quickly added, "Um, if you don't want to, you don't have to."

"No, it's fine!" I shook my head vigorously, as if she could see me. "I'd love to go to the studio with you."

The rest of the conversation was fuzzy, as if in a dream. I couldn't remember exactly what I said, but it seemed like I was going to the studio at 3:00 with Lacus for some song recording special she was doing in her new album.

I stared at the receiver in my hand. I couldn't believe it. It was way too good to be true, that a sister like her would find the time and patience to offer a special pass for her evil twin to come to the studio with her.

My heart pumped very fast now. Was I, Meer Campbell, going to have a chance to sing for someone besides my green monster pet?

* * *

(big gasp) I can't believe I can't write yelling! Hoiii… I'm not good at making someone sound angry. I'm not good at doing arguments. Is it a crime to have never gotten in an argument with a friend? Is it a crime to not have the guts or the fluency of speech to argue so passionately with someone? IS IT A CRIME TO NOT HAVE THE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE TO WRITE THIS? Is it a crime to not be able to put more than one exclamation point or one question mark on the end of yelling sentences because the document manager filters them out? Is it a crime to be so obsessed with English I that I am stuck using anaphora for the rest of my author's note?

Seriously, thank you for reading my horrible dramatic writing. I've been trying to get better by reading more shojo manga, like Kare Kano and Furuba, but I don't think it's working. But even though I hate how I wrote this (in K. A. Applegate's short, concise action style, nonetheless!), I like how I tied Auel's mother thing in. And yes, he does have 'attacks' when anyone mentions mother. I tried to make it seem like an asthma attack, but unfortunately I've never had asthma and I've never seen anyone suffer an asthma attack. Forgive me for my inexperience! (pause) And long author notes!


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